I remember a moment from my time as an ER charge nurse—a colleague looked at me and asked, “How do you stay so calm?”

At the time, I wasn’t sure what she meant. But working in a busy emergency room, where chaos was constant—whether from life-threatening situations or simply the overwhelming patient load—staying calm was something she noticed about me.

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that chaos exists across every hospital unit. Whether in the ICU, Med-Surg, or ER, nurses face endless demands, stress, and noise. Mindful breathing is one powerful practice that can help regain calm amidst the chaos.

What Is Mindful Breathing?

Mindful breathing is the simple yet intentional practice of focusing on each inhale and exhale—bringing full awareness to your breath.

Instead of allowing breathing to happen automatically, mindful breathing encourages you to observe, control, and deepen each breath. This practice engages the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps:

Reduce stress hormones
Improve focus and emotional regulation
Enhance overall well-being

For nurses who experience burnout, fatigue, and anxiety, this small shift in awareness can be a lifeline during tough shifts.

Quick, Simple Mindful Breathing Exercise for Nurses

Time required: 3-5 minutes

Step 1 – Find a Quiet Space
If possible, step away from patient care—whether to a breakroom, stockroom, or outside for fresh air.

Step 2 – Set Your Intention
Close your eyes (if comfortable). Take a deep breath and remind yourself why you’re pausing—to reset and refocus.

Step 3 – Observe Your Breath
Breathe normally. Notice the rhythm of your inhales and exhales. Feel the air filling your lungs. Your only task is to observe each breath.

Step 4 – Refocus When Your Mind Wanders
Your thoughts may drift—this is normal! Simply gently bring your focus back to your breath when distractions arise.

Pro Tip: Even one minute of mindful breathing can help you feel more grounded during a busy shift.

Why Mindful Breathing Matters for Nurses

Still wondering if mindful breathing is worth trying? Research from Duke University suggests that mindfulness practices, including breathing exercises, can:

Reduce stress & burnout
Improve focus & decision-making
Strengthen emotional resilience

For nurses, this means better patient care, sharper focus, and more energy to get through long shifts.

Conclusion: Just Try It

Your shift may feel nonstop, but mindful breathing doesn’t require much time—it simply requires intention.

So take a breath. Just one.

That small pause might be the difference between feeling overwhelmed and feeling empowered to tackle your day.

To learn more about Mindfulness, check out THIS POST.

REFERENCES

1. Montjoye, C. D. (2023, September 15). The power of breath: The surprising benefits of Conscious Breathing. DHW Blog. https://dhwblog.dukehealth.org/the-power-of-breath-the-surprising-benefits-of-conscious-breathing
2. Mindful breathing (greater good in action). Practices. (n.d.). https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/mindful_breathing 

The post Calm in the Chaos: How Mindful Breathing Can Help Nurses Thrive appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

For most people, these encounters would have been painstakingly prepared and arranged with courtesy for the living and respect for the dead. My encounters were often violent, loud, and sudden. 

Having spent so many years in the ED, my experiences may be more extreme than others. Still, nurses deal with this sort of thing every single day. If you worked through COVID as a nurse, then you experienced things that I didn’t, since I was working as an educator at the time. Regardless of your experience as a nurse, you carry a mental weight that many people can’t understand, unless they do what we do.

But, there’s hope. The mental and emotional trauma we have experienced doesn’t have to define us, and we don’t have to carry it for the rest of our lives.

Understanding Mental Health Struggles in Nursing

The sort of stressors that I mentioned above can lead to significant issues for nurses. This can include:

What is Compassion Fatigue in Healthcare?

Dr. Charles R. Figley, PhD, defines this as when we “take on the suffering of patients who have experienced extreme stress or trauma.” (1) While I agree that working with people who have thes extreme experiences can lead to compassion fatigue, for nurses I think it doesn’t even have to be something extreme. Dr. Figley is specifically speaking to psychologists in his definition. I would argue that, for nurses, it’s not just the moments of extreme stress or trauma that lead to compassion fatigue, but could include the exposure we have to the smaller, day-to-day stress and trauma of others.

Dr. Figley goes on to say that this is a risk for “any professionals who use their emotions, their heart.” This certainly sounds like nurses to me.

The irony of compassion fatigue is that it results from the very thing that makes nurses so great, empathy. Empathy gives us the ability to not just understand the circumstances that others are going through, but to understand how it FEELS. Unfortunately, our empathy often goes beyond simply understanding it to actually feeling it, even if on a smaller scale.

Burnout

Burnout is a bit of a buzzword these days. Many of us feel burned out, even if we can’t really define what it is, or describe how it feels. As high as 50% of nurses in America show signs of burnout (2). These signs may include emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and decreased personal accomplishment(3). I’d add compassion fatigue, as listed above, to the list.

And more

While compassion fatigue and burnout can result from the sort of big things we looked at earlier, I think they can also result from a bunch of smaller things that stack up over time. Such as:

• Dealing with patients’ families and other visitors
• Poor staffing
• Conflicts with providers, other nurses, and healthcare workers
• Higher demands from our employers
• Etc, etc, etc

Practical Strategies for Supporting Mental Health

Mindfulness

I remember when I started working on my master’s degree. The first class they made me take was on mindfulness. I went into it thinking this was the dumbest thing ever. I was ready to get into the meat of the program and start learning how to become an amazing nursing educator, but they wouldn’t let me start any other classes till I had completed this one.

Well, after the first session or two, I was convinced. This turned out to be one of the best classes I completed and is something I use on a regular basis today. 

Mindfulness can sound like some woo-woo, new age silliness. The truth is, it can be like that for some folks. However, it can also be a powerful tool that can help you understand yourself better and gain more control over how you respond in a wide variety of situations.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” Viktor Frankl

I learned this quote in my mindfulness class, and I’ve never forgotten it. Mindfulness gives us the power to open that space to give us even more capability to choose our response. If you’re interested in learning more about mindfulness, I’m planning a Mindfulness Workshop. You can learn more and sign up HERE.

Stress Reduction

Ok, I know this one may leave some of you feeling like, “Duh, Matt. I know I need to reduce stress. Stick with me. This isn’t simply about avoiding things that cause you stress, like your bills, job, or spouse. I mean, some of these things we simply can’t avoid. This is more about learning ways to release stress.

Here are some ideas:

• Deep breathing
• Meditation (I tried 4 times to type that and typed “medication” the first 3 times. You may need medication to get you through a season, but I can’t prescribe that.)
• Exercise
• Spend time outside
• Sleep – 7-9 hours of high-quality sleep most nights of the week.
• Rest – This is different than sleep. This is about intentionally taking time to do nothing.
• Declutter your home – clutter in your home or even your workspace can add stress.
• Spend time with friends or family… unless they cause you stress. LOL
• For more ideas, here is a free list of 101 Free or Cheap Self-Care Ideas.

Build Resilience Through Self-Care

Resilience is kind of a dangerous word. I mean it’s a good thing to work on, but it’s sometimes used by our industry as a way to push nurses to take on more, to do more, and to shame us if we don’t or won’t.

Merriam-Webster defines resilience as “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change”. With that definition, it’s kinda strange that hospitals or the nursing industry would encourage this in nursing. It’s like they’re saying that our work is “misfortune”. Merriam-Webster gives another definition, “the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress. I think we can agree that sometimes our jobs feel like “compressive stress.”

To put it in normal words, resilience is the ability to “bounce back”. We build this through self-care. In my book, The Restored Nurse, I outline 6 pillars of self-care:

1. Work Health
2. Physical Health
3. Mental Health
4. Spiritual Health
5. Relational Health
6. Financial Health

Each one of these is worthy of an entire article of its own. For now, I’ll just ask, what are you doing regularly to improve your health in these 6 areas?

Building Strong Support Networks in Nursing

I finished my RN-BSN in 5 months and then my MSN in 8 months. I spent almost 20 years in the ER. I went through nursing school while working full-time. All of these things, and more, I was only able to do because I had a strong support system… mostly my amazing wife.

Building a strong support system is VITAL for nurses. This can include your spouse/partner, but shouldn’t just be them. This can be a group of close friends, but please don’t limit it to people you work with. Those relationships often end or fade when one of you leaves that employer. 

This can also be connecting with friends online, especially other healthcare workers. Two of my closest friends live over 1000 miles away from me and have for the entirety of our friendship of more than a decade. We message back and forth several times a week. We have gone through some difficult times in each other’s lives, even though we have never lived any closer than this. You can have amazing friendships that life far away, thanks to the internet.

There are also some great online networks for nurses. Here are a few created and run by nurses whom I know personally:

• https://heartbeatrn.org
• https://teresasanderson.com/nursesfeedtheiryoung
• https://riseandrestore.my.canva.site/nurses

Regardless of where you find it, seek out community and connection so that when the hard days come, and they will, you’ll have the support you need.

Conclusion

Several years ago, I sought out a counselor. I drove over an hour each way to meet with someone I trusted. I met with her weekly for a while, then monthly, and eventually stopped meeting. This came from a realization that my mental health was not in a good place, and worse, the people that meant the most to me, my family, were suffering because of it. It cost me some time and money, but it changed my life.

Your mental health matters too. Somehow, mental health has become a taboo subject in nursing. It’s almost become a source of shame if we admit that we struggle with mental health or that we’ve sought help. I’ve shared my mental health struggles quite a bit over the years, and every time I do, I get people who tell me that my story made them feel like they weren’t alone. Trust me, whatever you are struggling with, there are others struggling too. And, if you truly aren’t struggling, then now is the time to put habits into place that maintain your mental health.

Here’s a startling statistic: nurses die from suicide at a rate 18% higher than the general public (4). I’ve read studies that put this number as high as 21%. You may not be there, but many of our brothers and sisters in nursing are. If that’s you, seek help, please. If nothing else, email me at matt@restoringnurses.com. 

Even if you are not on the verge of doing something final, make your mental health a priority. It matters.

REFERENCES

1. https://www.apa.org/topics/covid-19/compassion-fatigue
2. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0020748921000742?via%3Dihub
3. https://www.jenonline.org/article/S0099-1767(23)00350-1/fulltext
4. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8344804/

The post Nurses & Mental Health: Coping with Compassion Fatigue, Burnout, & Resilience appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

Then I got up at 4:30 for work…

As I prepared for work and then drove the 45-55 minute commute I couldn’t help but think of how much I didn’t love my life. Reflecting on what was going on that evening just a day or two before, I thought about what I was feeling. As I did, it occurred to me that what I was actually feeling was love for my family, not my life.

I love my family

I love my family more than I could possibly explain on this page. I have not been a perfect father, but I must have done a few things right because our son still wants to come over and still enjoys spending time with his dad. My son is 23 years old and still calls me daddy, even in public. I must have done something right.

But, it’s not just him. As parents, we hope and pray for our children to find good spouses. Our son certainly did. His wife has felt like part of the family since the day they started dating. She was able to handle us from the beginning and, if I’m honest, we are a lot to handle. Together, they have brought us our first grandchild. If you have grandchildren, you know what I’m feeling. If you don’t, just trust me, it’s pretty cool.

Our daughter is pretty amazing. Like so many girls, she is daddy’s girl. Even as a teenager, she’s still sweet. She may be fulfilling the contract that she signed for me when she was like 8 or 10 years old, but whatever the reason is, I’ll take it. 

No discussion of my family would be complete without talking about my wonderful wife. I like to tell people that we are basically a Disney movie. We met as teenagers and are living happily ever after. She was my high school sweetheart. I was 15 and she was 14 when we started dating. I really do feel like something out of a Disney movie, or a Hallmark Christmas special. Our relationship is not perfect and hasn’t always been easy, but it is really pretty awesome.

My life… not so much

I don’t hate my life, by any means. But, if I’m honest, there are a few things in my life that I don’t like. 

As I thought about this during my 45-50 minute commute, I realized that much of where my life was today was not by design. I had allowed most of my life to just kinda happen to me. 

Sure, there were parts of my life that were designed. After all, you don’t collect college degrees like Ash Ketchum catching Pokemon, by accident. Yet things like my physical health, finances, and even, for a large part, my relationships were pretty much on autopilot. The results have been kinda messy.

BUT THERE’S GOOD NEWS

The great thing is that my life ain’t over and, so long as I’m breathing I have an opportunity to change. In the 6 Pillars of Life, you and I can make a difference, no matter how far we’ve gone from where we want to be. If you’re not familiar with the 6 Pillars, check out this blog post, or go deeper with my book, The Restored Nurse, available on Amazon.

It really isn’t too late to get started building a life you’ll love and I’d love to help.

The post I Love My Family. My Life… no so much. appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

Use code PRESALE to get your discount.

I’m super excited about this upcoming course.

Why do you need this course?

It’s so easy to lose yourself in your job, your titles, or your never-ending task lists.

This course will help you do 3 things:

1. Reconnect with who you are.
2. Define what matters most to you.
3. Identify real next steps to start aligning your life with what really matters most to you.

The post Rediscovering You Course – Presale appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

I’m committing to 100 minutes per week of moderate activity during the month of June.

I want you to join me

I’ve shared my goal. Your journey is unique and your goal should be too. Regardless of what your goal is there is great power in sharing it with others who can encourage you and provide a little accountability if needed.

How do you join?

1. Fill out the form below to officially join MOVE MONTH.
2. When you get your welcome email, reply with what your MOVE MONTH goal is.
3. Join the Restoring Nurses Facebook group for encouragement and accountability during MOVE MONTH and beyond.
4. Share your journey throughout the month.

The post June is MOVE MONTH appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

“Will I know what to do when it matters?” 

The reality is that even more experienced nurses often ask this same question. Many of us are used to jumping into action when things happen at work. Still, the question remains, what would I do if I faced an emergency outside of work? At work, it’s much easier because even in the chaotic ER there is a sense of order. There is also help. 

What if an emergency happens when I’m not at work?

My son was choking

I often wondered the same thing. One day, when our son was a toddler, he and I went to have lunch with my wife. She was breaking up pieces of her hamburger and feeding them to him. Suddenly, I hear her call my name with clear stress in her voice. She had snatched him out of the high chair and was handing him to me. 

Quickly I realized that he was choking.

I grabbed him from her, flipped him over, and began doing back blows. Thankfully, after a couple of blows, he coughed and the hamburger came out. He was fine. In that moment I did exactly what I needed to do. I wasn’t thinking about it. By this time I had been a nurse for a couple of years, had worked at the hospital for about 6 years or so, and had taken basic life support several times. I had trained for this exact moment and, without even thinking about it, I was able to do what needed to be done. My training saved my son’s life.

It happened again

I remember on another occasion we were having a meal at my in-law’s house. I think it was Thanksgiving or Christmas. Everything was going well when, again, I heard my wife calling my name. I look up and realize this time it is my mother-in-law that is choking. I stand up and perform the procedure that I had been trained to do. After a couple of abdominal thrusts, she coughed up what she had been choking on. My training saved my mother-in-law’s life.

It’s not just about me

But, this isn’t all about me. More recently, I received notification that an old friend from church was in the emergency room after an apparent heart attack. My wife and I loaded up and went to the ER to be with his wife. As we sit in the ER waiting room the story of what had happened begins to be shared. Sitting next to me is a young woman I have known since she was an early teen, or even younger. Turns out that when this old friend collapsed, this young woman checked him out, found that he was pulseless, and began CPR. 

This story happened back in January or February of that year. That young woman graduated from nursing school a few months later. She hadn’t even graduated from nursing school, yet in the heat of the moment was able to step up and do what needed to be done. 

You can do it, too

It can be easy to look at my two stories and discount them because I had, by that time, been a nurse for a bit and had worked in the ER for a few years. However, this young woman hadn’t even finished nursing school. For a nursing student or even an inexperienced nurse, this young woman is much more representative of where you are and, probably, how you feel. As she and I talked, she confessed how scared she was. When I had to work on my son and mother-in-law, I was also scared. Yet we were able to act. That is true courage.

Courage is not the absence of fear. Rather it is a willingness to take action, even in the face of fear.

The point of all this is that you can do this too. Whether you are a nursing student, a new nurse, or have been a nurse for years, you can do this. You have what it takes to step up when the time comes, to take action in the moments that require it of you. 

Your training will save lives

One of the major factors that can help you be better prepared to take action is training. Take the training you are offered or required seriously. Learn all you can from that training. Look for opportunities for more training and experience. When you are on clinical rotations, look for stuff that’s going on around you and ask how you can be part of it. When I was a charge nurse in the ER I used to have nursing students do chest compressions in codes. There is no better spot to see all that is going on in a code than right there, in the middle of it all, doing chest compressions. Some didn’t appreciate it much at the time, but it turned out to be a great learning experience.

Look for opportunities to learn, wherever they may be. Someday you will use that training to save someones’ life. Maybe even someone you care about.

I’m here to help

If you have any questions, need direction, need prayer, or just need to unload, please use the contact link above to reach out. Also, use the Subscribe form to be sure you never miss a post.

The post Will I Know What to Do When it Matters? appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

The story was told by a man who had undergone back surgery. He spoke of the significant pain he was in and his inability to move by himself, due to the pain. He talked of how, at some point, two men came to assist him. He said that together they used the sheet to turn him over to his side as one unit. I could almost hear the relief in his voice as he talked of how good it felt to lay in a different position. 

Sometime later, during this same hospital visit, a nurse came in to check on him and he asked if he could, again, be turned onto his side. The nurse told him that it was no problem and began to put herself in position to roll the patient over. Under many circumstances, this is something that can be done with one person, especially if the patient is not particularly large, as this man is not. The man spoke up and told the nurse that she couldn’t do it alone, that it had taken two men to do it the previous time.

This is where the arrogance comes in.

The nurse responded that she was a trained professional and was completely capable of doing this on her own. She proceeded to slide her hands under the patient while he let out a scream of pain. The nurse stepped back and exclaimed, “you’ve had back surgery”. The man confirmed her assessment.

How is this arrogance?

Many would say that this nurse just made an innocent, honest mistake. On some levels this is true. However, it is the thought process that leads up to this mistake where the arrogance comes in. You see, when the patient said that the previous time that he had been turned it took two men, the nurse ignored him and proceeded to attempt to move the patient alone.

In that moment, she believed herself to be more knowledgeable and more capable than the two staff members that had previously moved the patient. Without even thinking she dismissed the patient’s words of caution and went about trying to do her own thing. While she likely would never admit it, it was arrogance that led her to take this course of action.

Pride goes before a fall.

This story is likely one of a great nurse who simply didn’t have all the information she needed. But, when the patient told her that it had previously taken two staff members to turn him, she should have taken a moment to pause and consider why it had taken two staff to do what she now thought she could do by herself. Had she done this, she would have realized that she did not have all the information she needed. This could have led her to review the patient’s chart and discover that he had back surgery and that she should really have two staff to turn him.

Pause is good.

In nursing, there are certain things that have to be done NOW. There are moments when taking action, or not, is truly a matter of life and death. Take too long to make a decision and something bad might happen. However, the truth is that the vast majority of the time this is not the case. In most cases, the task you need to perform can be delayed a short time without anything bad happening. 

For this reason, if you see, hear, or just feel that something isn’t right, pause. Take a moment to think about what you are seeing, hearing, or feeling. Make sure you have all the information you need. The minute or two it takes you to do this or to get the information you don’t have will cause no significant delay in care but could save the patient from a lot of pain, or something much, much worse. 

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