I remember a moment from my time as an ER charge nurse—a colleague looked at me and asked, “How do you stay so calm?”

At the time, I wasn’t sure what she meant. But working in a busy emergency room, where chaos was constant—whether from life-threatening situations or simply the overwhelming patient load—staying calm was something she noticed about me.

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that chaos exists across every hospital unit. Whether in the ICU, Med-Surg, or ER, nurses face endless demands, stress, and noise. Mindful breathing is one powerful practice that can help regain calm amidst the chaos.

What Is Mindful Breathing?

Mindful breathing is the simple yet intentional practice of focusing on each inhale and exhale—bringing full awareness to your breath.

Instead of allowing breathing to happen automatically, mindful breathing encourages you to observe, control, and deepen each breath. This practice engages the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps:

Reduce stress hormones
Improve focus and emotional regulation
Enhance overall well-being

For nurses who experience burnout, fatigue, and anxiety, this small shift in awareness can be a lifeline during tough shifts.

Quick, Simple Mindful Breathing Exercise for Nurses

Time required: 3-5 minutes

Step 1 – Find a Quiet Space
If possible, step away from patient care—whether to a breakroom, stockroom, or outside for fresh air.

Step 2 – Set Your Intention
Close your eyes (if comfortable). Take a deep breath and remind yourself why you’re pausing—to reset and refocus.

Step 3 – Observe Your Breath
Breathe normally. Notice the rhythm of your inhales and exhales. Feel the air filling your lungs. Your only task is to observe each breath.

Step 4 – Refocus When Your Mind Wanders
Your thoughts may drift—this is normal! Simply gently bring your focus back to your breath when distractions arise.

Pro Tip: Even one minute of mindful breathing can help you feel more grounded during a busy shift.

Why Mindful Breathing Matters for Nurses

Still wondering if mindful breathing is worth trying? Research from Duke University suggests that mindfulness practices, including breathing exercises, can:

Reduce stress & burnout
Improve focus & decision-making
Strengthen emotional resilience

For nurses, this means better patient care, sharper focus, and more energy to get through long shifts.

Conclusion: Just Try It

Your shift may feel nonstop, but mindful breathing doesn’t require much time—it simply requires intention.

So take a breath. Just one.

That small pause might be the difference between feeling overwhelmed and feeling empowered to tackle your day.

To learn more about Mindfulness, check out THIS POST.

REFERENCES

1. Montjoye, C. D. (2023, September 15). The power of breath: The surprising benefits of Conscious Breathing. DHW Blog. https://dhwblog.dukehealth.org/the-power-of-breath-the-surprising-benefits-of-conscious-breathing
2. Mindful breathing (greater good in action). Practices. (n.d.). https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/mindful_breathing 

The post Calm in the Chaos: How Mindful Breathing Can Help Nurses Thrive appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

This was probably 20 years ago now, maybe more. Yet, I can still remember it. In a four-hour period, I had three patients die—patients assigned to me. I was responsible for them, and they died.

Two of these patients came in, talking to me, and left in a body bag.

I don’t care who you are, that’s heavy. I remember sitting in my car afterward, wondering if I was supposed to be a nurse. Most nurses will go their entire career without experiencing this. Still, many of us went through COVID and carry similar emotional scars.

I wish I had known about mindfulness then. It wouldn’t have kept my patients alive, but it could have helped me deal with the aftermath.

Merriam-Webster defines mindfulness as “the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis.” (1)

Put simply, mindfulness is being aware of your mental and emotional state at any given moment. It won’t change events, but it can give you better control over how your body processes them.

Why Mindfulness Matters in Nursing

Every nurse has had moments when the emotional weight of the job makes it hard to keep going. We’ve all been yelled at by patients, visitors, physicians, or colleagues. Many of us have experienced a moment of overwhelm where our brain feels like it just… stops.

Mindfulness helps with these moments, not by preventing stress, but by changing how you respond to it. Instead of reacting instinctively, mindfulness helps you regain control and respond in a healthier way.

Beyond immediate benefits, mindfulness also supports long-term mental health. Recognizing how your body reacts to stressors enables you to work through them instead of carrying them forward.

Several years ago, I experienced what I can only describe as a panic attack. At the time, I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. Afterward, I was afraid of things I had never feared before. You can read that full story HERE.

I didn’t know I was using mindfulness, but in the months following, I learned to recognize my body’s reactions early. I could feel the anxiety starting, and say to myself, Okay, I feel anxious. Instead of letting fear spiral, I became curious about why I was feeling that way. This helped me identify triggers, evaluate solutions, and talk myself down before panic fully set in.

Mindfulness can be the difference between carrying trauma forward and processing it in real-time.

Quick Mindfulness Practices for Busy Nurses

Here are simple techniques you can use on the job—even when you don’t have much time:

• Intentional Deep Breathing: Taking a single deep breath gives your brain space to reset. The Cleveland Clinic notes that deep breathing can reduce heart rate and blood pressure, helping you relax. (2)
• Grounding with the Five Senses: Become aware of your surroundings through sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste. This helps anchor you in the present moment and lowers anxiety.
• Micro-Meditations Between Tasks: Before moving to your next patient, take 10 seconds to refocus. This could be repeating a Bible verse, a positive thought, or a simple affirmation.
• Gratitude on the Go: Amid chaos, pause to mentally list three things you’re grateful for. This can shift your mindset and prevent stress from overtaking you.
• Body Awareness Check-Ins: Ask yourself: What does my body feel like right now? Notice tension, pressure, tightness—without judgment. Awareness is the first step toward relief.

Overcoming Common Barriers to Mindfulness in Healthcare

Some nurses may feel skeptical about mindfulness. Here’s how to overcome common objections:

• “This is stupid.” Nursing breeds cynicism, but mindfulness isn’t fluffy self-help—it’s science-backed stress management.
• “My mind won’t slow down.” That’s normal! The more you practice mindfulness, the easier it becomes.
• “I can’t relax.” That’s why mindfulness exists—to help nurses learn how to relax and reset.
• Low motivation. You won’t always feel like practicing mindfulness. Do it anyway. Consistency is the key.

Closing Thoughts

I know many nurses will skim this and roll their eyes. But if you made it this far, something resonated with you.

If you’re interested in a mindfulness workshop, comment MINDFULNESS to let me know!

Resources:

(1) Merriam-Webster Definition

(2) Cleveland Clinic Guide to Breathing

The post Mindfulness on the Move: Simple Practices for Nurses During a Hectic Shift appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

Nursing is a profession built on empathy, dedication, and resilience. We care about and are dedicated to both our patients and our teams. We’re also really tough. Sometimes we are too tough for our own good. What many call resilience can be a dangerous thing.

This resilience often causes us to make decisions or accept things that might not be good for us. We know that we CAN, so we think we SHOULD. We often struggle with setting healthy boundaries, not just in our careers, but in our lives. 

You see, the type of person who becomes a nurse is generally a very giving person. We have a natural tendency to want to serve others. This is a good thing. It’s part of what makes nurses so amazing. Unfortunately, it can be very difficult for us to turn this off. 

When we talk about boundaries in nursing, we often talk about the nurse-patient relationship. This is a very important boundary, but it’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about setting healthy boundaries in the nurse-employer relationship and even in the many different relationships with people in your lives. Yes, setting boundaries with people you care about is not only a good thing to do, it’s actually good for the relationships.

Why Boundaries Matter in Nursing

The reasons why boundaries are important in the nurse-patient relationship are well documented and, for many of us, obvious. However, the reasons why the sort of boundaries we’re talking about here matter are not really talked about so much. Here are some of the ways that these sorts of boundaries impact nurses:

MENTAL HEALTH

Many, but certainly not all, of the mental health struggles we face are a result, at least in part, of our inability to set healthy boundaries. Recently, on LinkedIn, I wrote a post talking about my own struggle with this. The weight of the many things that I had taken on seemed to come crashing down on me as I drove home from work. The result was me shaking and crying, with tightness in my chest and palpitations. My lack of boundaries had led me down a path that took me to that moment. 

I think most of us have experienced something similar. 

RELATIONAL HEALTH

As nurses, we work long hours. We work nights, weekends, and holidays. This alone can put a strain on our relationships. It becomes even worse when we fail to set healthy boundaries. Our inability to say no to extra shifts or that last-minute call-in often results in us missing more family events than we’d like to. Trust me, this has an impact on all the important relationships in our lives.

PHYSICAL HEALTH

Working 12 hours is tough. AND, how often are those 12-hour shifts actually only 12 hours? First, we have to add 30 minutes for our lunch break. Then there is time after your shift to finish charting or wrapping up other things that you may not have gotten done. Then we take and do this 3-5 times per week, sometimes even more. This WILL take a toll on your body over time. 

As you can see, failing to set boundaries can impact all of the 6 Pillars I write about in my book.

Common Boundary Challenges Nurses Face

Most of us would willingly admit that boundaries are important. Yet, many of us struggle to set them. Here are a few reasons why:

• GUILT: Many nurses feel guilty at the very idea of setting boundaries. We feel like we are letting others down.
• FEAR: This may be a fear of rejection, retaliation, or just fear of what others will think.
• PEOPLE PLEASING: Many of us struggle with this felt need to make everyone happy.
• EXAMPLES: Many of us have never seen what healthy boundaries look like.

For more, check out this article: https://www.thewomensvault.com/setting-boundaries-barriers/

Types of Boundaries Nurses Should Establish

Ok, now that we’ve established why boundaries are important. Let’s look at some types of boundaries nurses need to set:

WORK

Staffing is not your responsibility… unless you’re a manager or administrator, then it is your responsibility. But, for the rest of us, staffing is not our responsibility. Decide how much extra you will or will not work, then set that boundary. Decide what things you will or will not miss in your personal life for the sake of work.

RELATIONAL

Nursing often means missing family events, but it doesn’t have to. If you choose to stay bedside in a hospital or other 24-hour setting, great. Do what works for you and your family. Even with this, be intentional about the sort of events you will or will not miss in your personal life. Maybe you don’t make it to every practice, but when the big game comes, you need to be there. 

Being a nurse doesn’t mean you HAVE to miss events. Early in my career, when our kids were small, we would adjust our holiday celebrations to fit my work schedule. Maybe we would do Thanksgiving on Sunday, after church, instead of Thursday. Maybe we would open Christmas gifts on Christmas even, instead of Christmas morning. Maybe a birthday party would be on Saturday, instead of the actual day. You get the idea.

As my kids got older and had more events, this changed. You see, I had committed that I was going to be at ALL of my kids’ stuff. My parents, for a variety of reasons, struggled to be at my events, and I was determined not to let that happen to my kids. I was going to be there so much that it would become annoying. I told my wife that I was going to keep showing up until the kids ask me to stop. Then I was going to keep showing up, cause I’m grown and do what I want. The funny thing is, they never got annoyed with my presence, and they never asked me to stop showing up.

We are often told that “real nurses” are the ones who work bedside in the hospital. Well, that’s crap. I made the decision to seek a Monday-Friday, 8-5 type job a number of years ago so that I could always be there for my kids. The result was that the band’s trailer has almost no miles over the past seven or eight years that it wasn’t attached to my truck. There are plenty of this sort of job out there, and there is no shame in taking them.

SOCIAL

Time with friends and family is so important. It is not just fun, it’s a vital part of a self-care plan. At the same time, it can be yet another drain on you. There are times when your friends will invite you to something and you really don’t want to go. It’s ok to say no. Let me say that again, it’s ok to say no. 

You don’t have to say yes to every social event or call for help. Yes, there are for sure times when a friend calls for help and you NEED to be there for them, but when it’s not one of those moments, it’s totally ok to say no. The ones that care about you will get it. The ones who only care about what you can offer them, might get angry. 

Strategies for Setting Healthy Boundaries as a Nurse

1. Reconnect with who you are: Take time to consider who you are. Yes, nurse is a part of your identity, but I don’t think any of us would say that it is the most important part. So, take time to think about all the parts of who you are. This is one of the exercises I go through in the companion workbook to my book, The Restored Nurse.
2. Identify what matters most: Once you’ve identified who you are, take time to consider which parts of you are most important. Put those in order from most important to least. For me, my top three are: child of God, husband, father, in that order. Your list may look very different, but put the top five or so in order.
3. Name your values: Now that you’ve identified what matters most, name your values. For me, my relationships with God, my wife, and my kids are the top. This means that I have to build my life in such a way that feeds those relationships. Name your values, then write them down. Once you’ve decided what your values are, you know where your boundaries are, because it is anything that goes against those values.
4. Communicate your boundaries: This is not to say that you have to go out and make some grand statement about your boundaries, but when someone threatens your boundaries, you do need to make it clear where your boundaries are. You can do this with love and respect, but you need to do it. If someone violates a boundary that you have not communicated, that’s not on them.

Choose guilt over resentment

If I could boil this entire post into one statement, it would be something I’ve heard from my favorite podcaster many times: “Choose guilt over resentment.” Dr. John Delony says this frequently on his podcast, The Dr. John Delony Show.  

Ok, but what does this mean?

When setting boundaries, there will be times when we feel bad about enforcing them. Your manager, or your favorite coworker, calls and asks you to come in. Because you care about your team, you may be tempted to come in. You might think, “The extra money would be nice.” But then you remember that your son has a baseball game that night. If not missing your kids’ events is a boundary that you’ve set, then the obvious answer is “no”. Still, you feel guilty.

Over time, saying yes to things you don’t want to do in order to avoid feeling guilty can lead to resentment. This is what Dr. John is talking about. It’s better to feel guilty for a little while for saying no than to grow resentful of the person asking.

I get it, boundaries are hard, but they’re also vital. 

The post Nurses Give Great Care, but at What Cost? Setting Healthy Boundaries for Well-Being appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

As nurses, we see and experience things that most people run from. This may seem cliche to say these days, but it’s true. Many people outside of healthcare have no idea what it’s like to sit with a person you don’t even know, so that they don’t die alone, while a worldwide pandemic prevents their loved ones from visiting. Most people never had to witness the anguish on someone’s face as the only access they had to their dying loved one was through an iPad screen or window. This takes a very real toll on nurses and other healthcare workers.

We are very familiar with the mental and even physical effects that the stressors of nursing have on us. However, what’s often ignored is its effect on our spiritual health. There may be a variety of reasons for this. Among them is the connection that many place between spiritual health and religion. We’ll talk more about the difference between the two, but this connection often leads folks to avoid any talk of spiritual health, much to their own detriment and that of other nurses.

Ok, but what IS spiritual health? A quick Google search gives us this definition for spiritual:

“A dimension of wellness focuses on meaning, purpose, and connection, encompassing belief, values, and a sense of connection to something larger than oneself.”

Understanding Spiritual Health in Nursing

Now that we’ve identified what spirituality is, let’s talk about what it’s not. Spirituality is not equal to religion. Yes, if someone has a faith tradition, it will influence their definition of spiritual health, as well as the habits and routines that they use to nurture it. However, spiritually does not automatically mean religion. In my book, The Restored Nurse, I share some of my own spiritual journey as a Christian. Regardless of your religious background, you may find some of yourself in my story.

You can be spiritual, without being religious.

Ok, now that we’ve established that spirituality is not about religion, let’s look at how spiritual health can impact your emotional resilience and mental health. An article from Mass General Brigham hospital shows us how spiritual health can affect mental health in a variety of ways. (1)

• Purpose and Meaning: Spiritual health practices can help us to gain a sense of purpose and meaning in our lives. In a time when many people struggle with a lack of these things, this can be a powerful tool.
• Supportive Community: Many spiritual habits include spending time with people who share your beliefs and values. This provides a base for the sort of supportive community that we really all need in the difficult times of our lives.
• Hope, Self-Esteem, and Self-Worth: Spirituality, even when separate from religion, can help us to see that there is hope beyond our darkest moments. It can help us to believe in ourselves more and improve our sense that we matter.
• Tools: Spiritual practices can provide he sort of tools that we need to better care for ourselves. 

On a more clinical level, spiritual health habits have been shown to help with addiction, depression, and even lowering suicide risk by as much as 68% in women and 33% in men. (1)

Common Challenges Nursing Face in Maintaining Spiritual Health

It’s among the greatest of ironies that the very people who dedicate their lives to caring for others often ignore the very care that they, themselves, need. Mental healthcare among nurses has almost become a taboo subject, with a large stigma being attached to it. Spiritual healthcare may not have the same level of taboo or stigma, but mostly because it simply gets ignored. I’d say that stigma and lack of awareness are the start of the challenges nurses face when it comes to spiritual health.

Stress and Emotional Exhastion: Let’s be real here, nurses are TIRED. Not just a physical kind of tired that can be fixed by a good nap or a weekend of sleeping in. I’m talking about the kind of tired that you feel DEEP down inside. The kind of tired that has you driving home from work, crying in the car, for no reason, which I did recently.

The job of a nurse has always been hard, but it seems in the past few years, since COVID, it’s gotten worse. I believe that many nurses went into COVID at their limit emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, and came out of it with nothing left. This is why we saw 100,000 nurses leave during COVID and expect nearly a million more to leave by 2027. (2)

The existing emotional exhaustion, the stress that’s a natural part of the job, and the many stressors that are NOT normal are huge factors making spiritual health even harder for nurses.

Compassion Fatigue: I won’t go much into this, cause I covered this in some detail in last week’s blog post. Still, understand that it is a factor that affects spiritual health.

Time constraints and lack of self-care focus: Some time ago, I asked nurses on TikTok to identify their biggest barriers to self-care. Time was one of the top answers. We work long hours, weekends, nights, holidays, etc, 24 hours, 7 days a week, Nurses are working to care for other people. On top of that, many of us have lives outside of work, regardless of what our employers may want. This all leaves us with limited time for self-care, especially spiritual health.

Practical Strategies for Nurturing Spiritual Health

Personal reflection and mindfulness: Recently, on LinkedIn, I shared a post on mindfulness. In its most basic form, mindfulness is about understanding yourself both mentally and physically. If you’re interested in learning more about mindfulness, I’m planning a Mindfulness Workshop.

Meditation: While meditation is a common practice among a wide range of religions, it’s an amazing practice that you can benefit from, even if not religious.

Gratitude: This is another topic I discuss in The Restored Nurse. This can be a gratitude journal that you write down 3-5 things you are grateful for every day, or simply thinking about what you’re grateful for as you drive to work.

Finding meaning in your work: I recently spoke at a pinning ceremony for a nearby nursing school. One of the things I told these soon-to-be nurses was that if the work you do doesn’t mean anything to you, then it will become harder and harder to do it year after year. If you can’t find meaning in the current work you are doing, seek out work that does give you meaning.

Community: We are made for community. This can be as simple as spending time with friends or as big as religious or other gatherings with people who share your beliefs and values. You NEED those relationships. They will feed your spiritual health, but also your mental and relational health.

Prayer, music, time outside, and many other things can feed your spiritual health. If you’re not sure which practice is best for you, just start doing SOMETHING. Take the time to learn what works best for you. The truth is that even as you try some things and find that some don’t work as well as others, your spiritual health will benefit, even from this process of discovery.

Conclusion

If you get nothing else from this post, remember that you are a spiritual being, even if not a religious one. As you work to take care of all the other parts of yourself and your life, don’t ignore this one. If you do, you may make great advancements in your life, only to find that you still feel empty. That emptiness is within your spirit. Be sure to fill it.

REFERENCES

1. https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/spirituality
2. https://www.ncsbn.org/news/ncsbn-research-projects-significant-nursing-workforce-shortages-and-crisis

The post Spiritual Health for Nurse: Why it Matters and How to Nurture It appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

For most people, these encounters would have been painstakingly prepared and arranged with courtesy for the living and respect for the dead. My encounters were often violent, loud, and sudden. 

Having spent so many years in the ED, my experiences may be more extreme than others. Still, nurses deal with this sort of thing every single day. If you worked through COVID as a nurse, then you experienced things that I didn’t, since I was working as an educator at the time. Regardless of your experience as a nurse, you carry a mental weight that many people can’t understand, unless they do what we do.

But, there’s hope. The mental and emotional trauma we have experienced doesn’t have to define us, and we don’t have to carry it for the rest of our lives.

Understanding Mental Health Struggles in Nursing

The sort of stressors that I mentioned above can lead to significant issues for nurses. This can include:

What is Compassion Fatigue in Healthcare?

Dr. Charles R. Figley, PhD, defines this as when we “take on the suffering of patients who have experienced extreme stress or trauma.” (1) While I agree that working with people who have thes extreme experiences can lead to compassion fatigue, for nurses I think it doesn’t even have to be something extreme. Dr. Figley is specifically speaking to psychologists in his definition. I would argue that, for nurses, it’s not just the moments of extreme stress or trauma that lead to compassion fatigue, but could include the exposure we have to the smaller, day-to-day stress and trauma of others.

Dr. Figley goes on to say that this is a risk for “any professionals who use their emotions, their heart.” This certainly sounds like nurses to me.

The irony of compassion fatigue is that it results from the very thing that makes nurses so great, empathy. Empathy gives us the ability to not just understand the circumstances that others are going through, but to understand how it FEELS. Unfortunately, our empathy often goes beyond simply understanding it to actually feeling it, even if on a smaller scale.

Burnout

Burnout is a bit of a buzzword these days. Many of us feel burned out, even if we can’t really define what it is, or describe how it feels. As high as 50% of nurses in America show signs of burnout (2). These signs may include emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and decreased personal accomplishment(3). I’d add compassion fatigue, as listed above, to the list.

And more

While compassion fatigue and burnout can result from the sort of big things we looked at earlier, I think they can also result from a bunch of smaller things that stack up over time. Such as:

• Dealing with patients’ families and other visitors
• Poor staffing
• Conflicts with providers, other nurses, and healthcare workers
• Higher demands from our employers
• Etc, etc, etc

Practical Strategies for Supporting Mental Health

Mindfulness

I remember when I started working on my master’s degree. The first class they made me take was on mindfulness. I went into it thinking this was the dumbest thing ever. I was ready to get into the meat of the program and start learning how to become an amazing nursing educator, but they wouldn’t let me start any other classes till I had completed this one.

Well, after the first session or two, I was convinced. This turned out to be one of the best classes I completed and is something I use on a regular basis today. 

Mindfulness can sound like some woo-woo, new age silliness. The truth is, it can be like that for some folks. However, it can also be a powerful tool that can help you understand yourself better and gain more control over how you respond in a wide variety of situations.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” Viktor Frankl

I learned this quote in my mindfulness class, and I’ve never forgotten it. Mindfulness gives us the power to open that space to give us even more capability to choose our response. If you’re interested in learning more about mindfulness, I’m planning a Mindfulness Workshop. You can learn more and sign up HERE.

Stress Reduction

Ok, I know this one may leave some of you feeling like, “Duh, Matt. I know I need to reduce stress. Stick with me. This isn’t simply about avoiding things that cause you stress, like your bills, job, or spouse. I mean, some of these things we simply can’t avoid. This is more about learning ways to release stress.

Here are some ideas:

• Deep breathing
• Meditation (I tried 4 times to type that and typed “medication” the first 3 times. You may need medication to get you through a season, but I can’t prescribe that.)
• Exercise
• Spend time outside
• Sleep – 7-9 hours of high-quality sleep most nights of the week.
• Rest – This is different than sleep. This is about intentionally taking time to do nothing.
• Declutter your home – clutter in your home or even your workspace can add stress.
• Spend time with friends or family… unless they cause you stress. LOL
• For more ideas, here is a free list of 101 Free or Cheap Self-Care Ideas.

Build Resilience Through Self-Care

Resilience is kind of a dangerous word. I mean it’s a good thing to work on, but it’s sometimes used by our industry as a way to push nurses to take on more, to do more, and to shame us if we don’t or won’t.

Merriam-Webster defines resilience as “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change”. With that definition, it’s kinda strange that hospitals or the nursing industry would encourage this in nursing. It’s like they’re saying that our work is “misfortune”. Merriam-Webster gives another definition, “the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress. I think we can agree that sometimes our jobs feel like “compressive stress.”

To put it in normal words, resilience is the ability to “bounce back”. We build this through self-care. In my book, The Restored Nurse, I outline 6 pillars of self-care:

1. Work Health
2. Physical Health
3. Mental Health
4. Spiritual Health
5. Relational Health
6. Financial Health

Each one of these is worthy of an entire article of its own. For now, I’ll just ask, what are you doing regularly to improve your health in these 6 areas?

Building Strong Support Networks in Nursing

I finished my RN-BSN in 5 months and then my MSN in 8 months. I spent almost 20 years in the ER. I went through nursing school while working full-time. All of these things, and more, I was only able to do because I had a strong support system… mostly my amazing wife.

Building a strong support system is VITAL for nurses. This can include your spouse/partner, but shouldn’t just be them. This can be a group of close friends, but please don’t limit it to people you work with. Those relationships often end or fade when one of you leaves that employer. 

This can also be connecting with friends online, especially other healthcare workers. Two of my closest friends live over 1000 miles away from me and have for the entirety of our friendship of more than a decade. We message back and forth several times a week. We have gone through some difficult times in each other’s lives, even though we have never lived any closer than this. You can have amazing friendships that life far away, thanks to the internet.

There are also some great online networks for nurses. Here are a few created and run by nurses whom I know personally:

• https://heartbeatrn.org
• https://teresasanderson.com/nursesfeedtheiryoung
• https://riseandrestore.my.canva.site/nurses

Regardless of where you find it, seek out community and connection so that when the hard days come, and they will, you’ll have the support you need.

Conclusion

Several years ago, I sought out a counselor. I drove over an hour each way to meet with someone I trusted. I met with her weekly for a while, then monthly, and eventually stopped meeting. This came from a realization that my mental health was not in a good place, and worse, the people that meant the most to me, my family, were suffering because of it. It cost me some time and money, but it changed my life.

Your mental health matters too. Somehow, mental health has become a taboo subject in nursing. It’s almost become a source of shame if we admit that we struggle with mental health or that we’ve sought help. I’ve shared my mental health struggles quite a bit over the years, and every time I do, I get people who tell me that my story made them feel like they weren’t alone. Trust me, whatever you are struggling with, there are others struggling too. And, if you truly aren’t struggling, then now is the time to put habits into place that maintain your mental health.

Here’s a startling statistic: nurses die from suicide at a rate 18% higher than the general public (4). I’ve read studies that put this number as high as 21%. You may not be there, but many of our brothers and sisters in nursing are. If that’s you, seek help, please. If nothing else, email me at matt@restoringnurses.com. 

Even if you are not on the verge of doing something final, make your mental health a priority. It matters.

REFERENCES

1. https://www.apa.org/topics/covid-19/compassion-fatigue
2. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0020748921000742?via%3Dihub
3. https://www.jenonline.org/article/S0099-1767(23)00350-1/fulltext
4. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8344804/

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Nurses work tirelessly, but even the most dedicated caregiver needs to recharge. Here’s why self-care is essential. Lots of work is being done to address the issues in nursing and healthcare. Still, I’m worried for nurses.

You see, if we woke up tomorrow and all of the issues in healthcare were fixed, many of us would still be tired.

Consider this:

Suppose I had a garden in my yard. I don’t have a garden because the only things I can grow well are children and weeds. I have two amazing children and a yard that my HOA can confirm will not win any awards. But, let’s pretend for a minute that I DID have a garden.

One day, I go out to water my plants. I grab my watering can, fill it up, and proceed to the garden. One by one, I pour water from my watering can onto my plants, giving them what they need. Over time, my watering can will become empty. If I don’t take time to refill it, eventually it will lose its ability to give my plants what they need. It has not lost its capacity, but it will lose its ability.

Now consider that instead of a watering can, I drag a hose out to the garden. With that hose, I have a virtually endless supply of water. I can stand out there as long as I want, pouring water on my plants, and never worry about running out. 

As nurses, we tend to treat ourselves as if we are hoses that never need to be refilled. Like a watering can, we have great capacity for caring for others, but it is not endless.

Understand what drains your energy

As nurses, we have a great capacity to care for others. That capacity, however, is not endless. You see, as we care for others, we pour from ourselves into them. Here are some examples of the sorts of things that drain our can.

• Caring for patients. I LOVE caring for patients. Still, the reality is that it is draining. It takes energy to care for them. With each patient encounter, our watering can becomes a little emptier. I’m not blaming patients. It’s just the reality of it. Our patients need our care, and that’s a drain on us.
• Caring for family. The many things that we do for our family are a drain on us. Yes, we do them willingly and even enjoy doing many of them, but they are still a drain.
• Leading others: If you are a nurse, you are a leader at some level. This can be a simple as delegating to your tech, or a complex as the CNO working to keep the hospital running smoothly.
• Daily commute. Ok, maybe this one is just me. I’ve been spoiled for most of my career with a commute of 30 minutes or less. I now spend two to two and a half hours commuting every single day. Some days, that hour and 15 to hour and 30 minute drive home just leaves me drained with little energy to do anything when I get home.
• Relational struggles. Strong, healthy relationships can actually work to fill our cans. My wife and I have friends that we love to spend time with. Often it’s just us sitting on the porch with some meat on the grill, hanging out and talking. These nights fill my can. Likewise, my wife is really good at filling my can. Still, there are days when caring for her drains my can a bit. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s part of being her husband, but is a fact that we need to acknowledge.
• Financial stressors. If you’ve never had to worry about how to pay your light bill or where grocery money is going to come from, then you may not understand this one. If, however, you are like most of us and have experienced some financial struggles in your life, then you know how draining that can be.

This is certainly not an exhaustive list, but I think it serves to give you the idea of the sorts of things that empty your watering can. 

How to refill your energy

When I talk about refilling the watering can, you likely know exactly what I mean. However, when I talk about refilling your inner can, it might not be so clear. So, what does it mean to refill your can?

Thinking about the watering can, the act of filling it is simply a matter of putting back into it what it needs to be able to pour into others. Refilling our can is the same thing, except that what we need is not water, although that’s important. 

The things I listed above, and many that I didn’t list, don’t drain water from us. Instead, they drain energy. Pouring out of ourselves and into the people around us uses energy. Dealing with the stressors in work and life uses energy. So, refilling you can means replacing that energy that has been depleted. 

How do we refill?

When we have a patient who is bleeding, we understand that the first thing we need to do is stop the bleeding. It’s pointless to give them more blood if they are just going to keep bleeding it out. So, the first step toward filling you can will be to stop the bleeding. I’m not saying that we stop caring for our patients or families. Still, there are likely things in our lives that are draining us that we can stop doing.

This may be a hot take, but it is not your responsibility to fix everyone’s problems. Because of the type of person that becomes a nurse, we are often the ones that everyone goes to to fix all their problems, not just their medical ones. This can be a good thing, as most of us love helping others. However, it can get to the point where people dump things on us that they should be handling themselves. I’ll say it again, it’s not your responsibility to fix everyone’s problems.

Another way to stop the bleeding would be to remove some of the stressors in your life. For financial stressors, this can be budgeting, eliminating debt, and beginning to build some savings. It’s remarkable the difference this can make in your life. Trust me, I’ve been on a journey to do these very things.

Whether it’s financial stressors or the feeling that we need to be there for everyone, take some time to examine your life and see what stressors can be removed or minimized.

Now that we’ve stopped the bleeding, or at least slowed it down, let’s start refilling. This will look a little different for each of us, but the bottom line is doing things that GIVE you energy, instead of TAKING it away. Below is a list of some such things.

Practical Self-Care Tips for Nurses

Here are some examples of ways to refill. Like I said above, it’s really about doing things that give YOU energy. So, take some inspiration from this list, but do what works for you.

• Exercise
• Walking
• Reading
• Journaling
• Talking with friends or family
• DAYS OFF
• Travel
• Proper nutrition and hydration
• Playing video games (yes, it’s ok for adults to do this)
• Spiritual habits
• Rest: not just sleep, but intentionally taking time to do nothing
• Play: whatever that looks like for you
• Make something: For me, this can be anything from building a bench or table, to props for the local community theater, to a painting. For you, it might include these things plus baking or cooking, or more.
• Go outside: Simply spending time outside, in the sun, can be so energizing.

So, what do you do to refill?

Need more ideas? Click HERE to get a free list of 100 free or cheap self-care ideas.

The post Nurses aren’t Hose(s). Why Self-Care is Crucial for Nurse Well-Being appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

Nothing changed on January 1st. You didn’t magically become a different person at the stroke of midnight. You don’t have a fairy godmother and you’re not Cinderella. So, your life was exactly the same when you woke up on January 1st, as it was at 11:59 the night before. Sadly, no prince charming coming to see if the shoe you lost that night fits your foot, so he can carry you off into a life you’ve been dreaming about.

There is good news

While it’s true that your life didn’t change at midnight, the good news is that it can. You CAN be a different person with a different life on January 1, 2026, but it will require work. 

At some point in your life, you set a goal to become a nurse. The fact that you are a nurse today proves that you are willing to face difficult things, put in the work, and overcome them. So, how do we turn the person and life we had at the start of this year into the version we want for 2026?

Mindset

Mindset is a bit of a buzzword these days, but there really is something to it. I would define mindset as the beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world around us that either propel us toward our goals or prevent us from reaching them. Here are some mindset examples that might be holding you back:

1. I’ve always been overweight, I probably always will be.
2. My parents weren’t good with money, so I’ll always struggle financially.
3. Living paycheck to paycheck is just normal.
4. Nobody can get ahead in this economy.
5. I’m too old to start something new.
6. I’m just not very good at relationships.

When you read them written out like this, it’s easy to see how these can hold you back. Unfortunately, many of us have these sorts of thoughts running around in our heads and we don’t even know it. Start with recognizing any negative mindsets you may have. Then turn them into positives. Let’s do that with the six examples from above.

1. Losing weight is hard, but I’m not afraid of hard things and I know I can do this.
2. My parents weren’t good with money, but I can learn and build financial freedom.
3. Living paycheck to paycheck is normal, but it doesn’t mean I have to live that way.
4. Even in a challenging economy, with hard work and a plan, I can get ahead.
5. I’m NEVER too old to start something new.
6. My past relationship struggles don’t define me.

In my recently released Companion Workbook to my book, The Restored Nurse, I have an entirely new chapter on mindset, as well as some exercises that will help you build the sort of mindset that will help you build a life you love.

Vision

Merriam-Webster defines vision as “the act or power of imagination”. While we often think of imagination as what our children use when designing new games, or works of art the truth is that it’s just the ability to create a picture in your mind of something that does not yet exist. That’s vision. 

For the sake of this article, vision is you looking ahead to a future life you want to live and imagining what it would look like. Have you lost weight, found a partner, paid off debts, increased savings, moved to a new area, or bought a home? What does the vision of the future life you want to build look like? 

We have to acknowledge that we may not be able to move from where you were on January 1st to the life you want to build in 2025. If you have large sums of debt to pay off, it may take more than this year. If you have a lot of weight to lose, you can get an amazing start, but you may need more than a year. 

Plan

Now that we’ve created a mindset that can help us, rather than hold us back, and we have a vision for where we are going, we need a plan. Dave Ramsey says that goals without a plan are wishes. Whatever the life you will love looks like for you, you have to have a plan that helps you get there from here.

Think of it like a road trip. With a road trip, you start with a destination in mind, that’s the vision. From there you make a plan. When will you leave? What route will you take? Will you stop overnight or drive straight though? If so, where? Will you visit any places along the way? What snacks will you pack? You get the idea. Building a life you love is a journey and, just like this road trip, you need a plan.

Action

Even with all the above items in place, if you don’t take action, nothing will change. You will wake up on January 1st, 2026 only to realize that your life is the same as it was on January 1st of this year. 

This does not mean that you have to make drastic changes to your life right away. I think that sort of action is the reason so many people give up on their resolutions before the month of January has even passed. Instead, consider what small changes you can make that move you toward the vision you built above.

If you’re unsure where to start when it comes to changing your mindset, building a vision or plan, or taking action, my book, The Restored Nurse, and the Companion Workbook are great tools to help you get started.

The post New Year, Same Old You appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

Then I got up at 4:30 for work…

As I prepared for work and then drove the 45-55 minute commute I couldn’t help but think of how much I didn’t love my life. Reflecting on what was going on that evening just a day or two before, I thought about what I was feeling. As I did, it occurred to me that what I was actually feeling was love for my family, not my life.

I love my family

I love my family more than I could possibly explain on this page. I have not been a perfect father, but I must have done a few things right because our son still wants to come over and still enjoys spending time with his dad. My son is 23 years old and still calls me daddy, even in public. I must have done something right.

But, it’s not just him. As parents, we hope and pray for our children to find good spouses. Our son certainly did. His wife has felt like part of the family since the day they started dating. She was able to handle us from the beginning and, if I’m honest, we are a lot to handle. Together, they have brought us our first grandchild. If you have grandchildren, you know what I’m feeling. If you don’t, just trust me, it’s pretty cool.

Our daughter is pretty amazing. Like so many girls, she is daddy’s girl. Even as a teenager, she’s still sweet. She may be fulfilling the contract that she signed for me when she was like 8 or 10 years old, but whatever the reason is, I’ll take it. 

No discussion of my family would be complete without talking about my wonderful wife. I like to tell people that we are basically a Disney movie. We met as teenagers and are living happily ever after. She was my high school sweetheart. I was 15 and she was 14 when we started dating. I really do feel like something out of a Disney movie, or a Hallmark Christmas special. Our relationship is not perfect and hasn’t always been easy, but it is really pretty awesome.

My life… not so much

I don’t hate my life, by any means. But, if I’m honest, there are a few things in my life that I don’t like. 

As I thought about this during my 45-50 minute commute, I realized that much of where my life was today was not by design. I had allowed most of my life to just kinda happen to me. 

Sure, there were parts of my life that were designed. After all, you don’t collect college degrees like Ash Ketchum catching Pokemon, by accident. Yet things like my physical health, finances, and even, for a large part, my relationships were pretty much on autopilot. The results have been kinda messy.

BUT THERE’S GOOD NEWS

The great thing is that my life ain’t over and, so long as I’m breathing I have an opportunity to change. In the 6 Pillars of Life, you and I can make a difference, no matter how far we’ve gone from where we want to be. If you’re not familiar with the 6 Pillars, check out this blog post, or go deeper with my book, The Restored Nurse, available on Amazon.

It really isn’t too late to get started building a life you’ll love and I’d love to help.

The post I Love My Family. My Life… no so much. appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

I can still remember standing in the woods near the church we were attending at the time. As tears streamed down my face, I looked to the sky and yelled these exact words, “I just want to love being a nurse again.”

I had been a nurse for 19 years and had always loved it. But, I didn’t anymore.

It wasn’t nursing I hated

Looking back, I can see that I still loved nursing, but what I didn’t love was the place I worked or the way I was treated there. Still, I was ready to leave nursing completely. If I had any idea of how to support my family in similar way to how I was able to as a nurse, I probably would have left nursing.

Now that a few years have passed, I’m glad I didn’t leave.

I determined that I would build a life I loved

From this moment, under the trees, I began a journey to build a life I loved.

This started with getting out of the terrible job I was in and finding something that better suited me. Taking time to look back on my career I realized that I had always been teaching. This was true not only in my job but also in many of the things I did outside of work. Not only had I always been teaching, but looking back, I realized that I loved doing it and that I was really good at it.

This started a journey that took me to complete my BSN, and then go on to get my MSN-Ed and spend the years since then working as a nurse educator in hospitals and universities.

It’s not just about work

This story starts with me wanting to leave nursing. I know that many nurses have felt the same way. I found that changing my specialty and where I worked was enough to reignite the passion for nursing that I thought was gone forever.

If you’re considering leaving nursing, I’d encourage you to consider changing where you work, the specialty you work in, or some other change before you leave completely. It may be time to leave, but a change of scenery could change everything for you.

In a recent Podcast episode, I discuss this very topic:

​Is it Time for You to Leave Nursing?​

If you need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open and I promise, I will not try to sell you anything.

Matt Norman

P.S. The Companion Workbook for my book, The Restored Nurse, is now available on Amazon.

The post I just want to love being a nurse again appeared first on Restoring Nurses.

Driving a wagon on a road with deep ruts means picking a rut and driving in it. Once in such a rut, you are pretty much stuck. You’re going where that rut goes. Sure, if you need to take a turn that the ruts don’t take, you can, but this change in direction will take effort as your horse works to put the weight of the wagon and all its contents and passengers up out of the rut.

Traveling through the ruts is easy. Changing direction to go to a place the ruts are going, takes work.

Ruts in Our Brain

The pathways in our brains are like roads that our thoughts travel along. For things that we think about often, our brain creates ruts, neuropathways, to get us to those thoughts more quickly. This is why something that you had never heard of as a nursing student becomes something you can bring up without even thinking about it later in your career. This is why going over ACLS algorithms repeatedly, or working through scenarios and mock codes helps us not have to think about what to do next when the time comes.

Ruts can be good

When our son was about 18 months old, he and I went to have lunch with his mother. She was breaking up pieces of a hamburger for him to eat. Things were going great, till they weren’t.

MY SON WAS CHOKING!!

My wife screamed my name, picked up our son, and handed him to me. Without even thinking, I flipped him over and did the sort of back blows they teach in life-saving classes. I had never done this on a child before, but I had practiced it so many times that my brain had created ruts that quickly took me to what I needed to do. After a few blows our son coughed up the meat. We quickly asked for our check and left. Lunch was over, but our son was ok. He now has a wife and a son of his own.

In another instance, we were having Christmas dinner at my in-laws’ house when my mother-in-law started choking. Again my wife screamed my name. I jumped up and, again, did what I had been trained to do. After a couple of abdominal thrusts, she coughed up the food she was choking on. I had never done this either, but the ruts that my training had built in my brain took me to the place I needed to go to save my mother-in-law’s life… not sure if that was a good or bad thing. (Totally kidding, my mother-in-law is great and I’m very glad that she’s still here.)

Ruts can be bad

In the above instances, the ruts in my brain were good. However, that is not always the case.

Some years ago I experienced what I was convinced at the time was a nervous breakdown. I talk about this in the Mental Health chapter of my book, The Restored Nurse. Or you can read it HERE. Through that experience, my brain developed some new ruts. When I woke up the next morning, I was afraid of things that I had never been afraid of before. I was afraid to fly. No biggy, lots of people are. But, I had flown on multiple occasions before this and loved it. I was afraid to ride in elevators. Again, this is something that lots of people are afraid of, but I had never been. I was afraid to start IVs. I had been a nurse for close to 15 years and had started hundreds of IVs. Not only had I started hundreds, I was good at it, but the things I had experienced that night made me afraid to do something that had become so familiar to me.

This experience created ruts in my brain that ran straight from flying, elevators, and IVs to FEAR! I mean I couldn’t even take the elevator down one level that next morning, even though I had ridden on that same elevator hundreds of times before this. Unlike the life-saving ruts I spoke of above, these ruts definitely were not helping me or anyone else.

The ruts in your brain

In addition to the ruts I’ve mentioned already, many of us have ruts in our brains that steer our lives in directions we don’t want to go. Perhaps you have a rut that leads you to overeat when you’re stressed, sad, or even happy. Maybe you have a rut that leads you to spend money you don’t have or at least money that you shouldn’t be spending. I don’t care what the internet says, “shopping therapy” can be a really bad thing.

These ruts in my fantasy novels, steer the wagons where the ruts want to go, with no care for where the wagon or its driver want to go. Sometimes the ruts in our brains are the same way. The good news for the characters in my books is that they are not stuck in the ruts. They can pull out of them and go in a direction other than where the ruts are going. We can do the same thing. We don’t have to be slaves to the ruts in our brains. But, just like in the books I read, getting out of these ruts requires two things: intentionality and work.

Where are the ruts in your brain taking you that you don’t to go?

You can join the conversation on my TikTok or leave a comment below. If you’d prefer to keep your ruts private, shoot me an email. I’d love to talk about it.

The post Trapped by the Ruts: How Brain Pathways Shape Our Lives—and How to Redirect Them appeared first on Restoring Nurses.