With is Greater Than For

With is greater than for!

What the heck does this even mean? Well, it’s actually quite simple. The things we do WITH our family are much more important that the things we do FOR them.

But I have to provide

Yes, there are things we have to do for them. Our families need food, they need shelter, they need clothes. Your family needs all of these things and this means that you have to work. Clearly, I’m not talking about quitting your job and, in the process, failing to provide these things.

However, if we are honest, we often go far beyond what they need and into the realm of what they want. Or, perhaps more accurately, what we want them to have. In some cases even going beyond what WE need to what we want, or what we have convinced ourselves we deserve.

What does that all even mean?

As mentioned earlier, our family needs certain things. We do too. Unfortunately, we have a tendency to take those needs and blow them up. We tend to make them bigger, and more expensive than they have to be. Sadly, I’ve been too often when nurses will build a life that requires them to work overtime, often a lot of it, just to keep up. The result is often that we are not there when our kids need us.

That’s right, our families need us. In fact, I would argue that they need us more than many of the things that we are working to buy for them.

It’s about a lifestyle

Our families need shelter. However, they don’t need the biggest, fanciest house in the neighborhood. The memories your children have of their childhood home will be the moments you spent with them, not the size of the house, the fancy neighborhood it’s in, or how much it cost.

Likewise, you need a car. You’ve got to have some way to get to work, soccer practice, the grocery store, etc. You don’t, however, need a Mercedes or BMW. Are they cool, yes. Do you need one, no. Many more memories are made in the garage working on an older car, or even just keeping the family car running, that simply riding to soccer practice in a fancy, expensive, new car.

What your family really needs is you

You see, your family is not going to remember most of the things you worked extra to provide for them. They will, however, remember all the games you missed. They will remember the dance recital you couldn’t make because you were working. They will remember the band concerts you were not at.

I’m 47 years old and I still have a picture in my head of the auditorium of my old high school. I can still remember sitting on that stage for band concerts. I can see the curtain opening and remember looking out into the crowd looking for my parents, only to see that they were not there. I can still remember a similar experience while marching on the football field and scanning the stands hoping to see my parents, but pretty sure that they were not going to be there.

Remember what really matters

I’m not telling you not to work and I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I am, however, trying to encourage you to think about what really matters. Trust me, what really matters is the time you spend with your family. I would encourage you to take some time to think about this. Is your work taking you away from your family on a regular basis?

Now what?

Maybe you agree with everything I’ve said here but don’t know how to even begin. Check out my Work/Life Balance Workshop. Here I’ll help you begin to build a plan for betting more balance between work and life.