Nurses aren’t Hose(s). The Importance of Refilling Your Energy

Nurses work tirelessly, but even the most dedicated caregiver needs to recharge. Here’s why self-care is essential. Lots of work is being done to address the issues in nursing and healthcare. Still, I’m worried for nurses.

You see, if we woke up tomorrow and all of the issues in healthcare were fixed, many of us would still be tired.

Consider this:

Suppose I had a garden in my yard. I don’t have a garden because the only things I can grow well are children and weeds. I have two amazing children and a yard that my HOA can confirm will not win any awards. But, let’s pretend for a minute that I DID have a garden.

One day, I go out to water my plants. I grab my watering can, fill it up, and proceed to the garden. One by one, I pour water from my watering can onto my plants, giving them what they need. Over time, my watering can will become empty. If I don’t take time to refill it, eventually it will lose its ability to give my plants what they need. It has not lost its capacity, but it will lose its ability.

Now consider that instead of a watering can, I drag a hose out to the garden. With that hose, I have a virtually endless supply of water. I can stand out there as long as I want, pouring water on my plants, and never worry about running out. 

As nurses, we tend to treat ourselves as if we are hoses that never need to be refilled. Like a watering can, we have great capacity for caring for others, but it is not endless.

Understand what drains your energy

As nurses, we have a great capacity to care for others. That capacity, however, is not endless. You see, as we care for others, we pour from ourselves into them. Here are some examples of the sorts of things that drain our can.

• Caring for patients. I LOVE caring for patients. Still, the reality is that it is draining. It takes energy to care for them. With each patient encounter, our watering can becomes a little emptier. I’m not blaming patients. It’s just the reality of it. Our patients need our care, and that’s a drain on us.
• Caring for family. The many things that we do for our family are a drain on us. Yes, we do them willingly and even enjoy doing many of them, but they are still a drain.
• Leading others: If you are a nurse, you are a leader at some level. This can be a simple as delegating to your tech, or a complex as the CNO working to keep the hospital running smoothly.
• Daily commute. Ok, maybe this one is just me. I’ve been spoiled for most of my career with a commute of 30 minutes or less. I now spend two to two and a half hours commuting every single day. Some days, that hour and 15 to hour and 30 minute drive home just leaves me drained with little energy to do anything when I get home.
• Relational struggles. Strong, healthy relationships can actually work to fill our cans. My wife and I have friends that we love to spend time with. Often it’s just us sitting on the porch with some meat on the grill, hanging out and talking. These nights fill my can. Likewise, my wife is really good at filling my can. Still, there are days when caring for her drains my can a bit. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s part of being her husband, but is a fact that we need to acknowledge.
• Financial stressors. If you’ve never had to worry about how to pay your light bill or where grocery money is going to come from, then you may not understand this one. If, however, you are like most of us and have experienced some financial struggles in your life, then you know how draining that can be.

This is certainly not an exhaustive list, but I think it serves to give you the idea of the sorts of things that empty your watering can. 

How to refill your energy

When I talk about refilling the watering can, you likely know exactly what I mean. However, when I talk about refilling your inner can, it might not be so clear. So, what does it mean to refill your can?

Thinking about the watering can, the act of filling it is simply a matter of putting back into it what it needs to be able to pour into others. Refilling our can is the same thing, except that what we need is not water, although that’s important. 

The things I listed above, and many that I didn’t list, don’t drain water from us. Instead, they drain energy. Pouring out of ourselves and into the people around us uses energy. Dealing with the stressors in work and life uses energy. So, refilling you can means replacing that energy that has been depleted. 

How do we refill?

When we have a patient who is bleeding, we understand that the first thing we need to do is stop the bleeding. It’s pointless to give them more blood if they are just going to keep bleeding it out. So, the first step toward filling you can will be to stop the bleeding. I’m not saying that we stop caring for our patients or families. Still, there are likely things in our lives that are draining us that we can stop doing.

This may be a hot take, but it is not your responsibility to fix everyone’s problems. Because of the type of person that becomes a nurse, we are often the ones that everyone goes to to fix all their problems, not just their medical ones. This can be a good thing, as most of us love helping others. However, it can get to the point where people dump things on us that they should be handling themselves. I’ll say it again, it’s not your responsibility to fix everyone’s problems.

Another way to stop the bleeding would be to remove some of the stressors in your life. For financial stressors, this can be budgeting, eliminating debt, and beginning to build some savings. It’s remarkable the difference this can make in your life. Trust me, I’ve been on a journey to do these very things.

Whether it’s financial stressors or the feeling that we need to be there for everyone, take some time to examine your life and see what stressors can be removed or minimized.

Now that we’ve stopped the bleeding, or at least slowed it down, let’s start refilling. This will look a little different for each of us, but the bottom line is doing things that GIVE you energy, instead of TAKING it away. Below is a list of some such things.

Practical Self-Care Tips for Nurses

Here are some examples of ways to refill. Like I said above, it’s really about doing things that give YOU energy. So, take some inspiration from this list, but do what works for you.

• Exercise
• Walking
• Reading
• Journaling
• Talking with friends or family
• DAYS OFF
• Travel
• Proper nutrition and hydration
• Playing video games (yes, it’s ok for adults to do this)
• Spiritual habits
• Rest: not just sleep, but intentionally taking time to do nothing
• Play: whatever that looks like for you
• Make something: For me, this can be anything from building a bench or table, to props for the local community theater, to a painting. For you, it might include these things plus baking or cooking, or more.
• Go outside: Simply spending time outside, in the sun, can be so energizing.

So, what do you do to refill?

Need more ideas? Click HERE to get a free list of 100 free or cheap self-care ideas.